Untitled

Elena Lorenzana

in the short periods between thinking about: sex and food and sleep and friends and money

i catch the fetus swimming behind your eyes

embryo suspended in formaldehyde

tonight you’re a camera

fluttering in and between party guests

the pursuit of your ambitions crossing the line from brave to merciless

it is here i am reminded that i am a guest in graduate school

a guest in the lives of the beautiful, smart and rich

a space that resonates with a dizzying sharpness

that naturally arises in small spaces

spaces where people who behave like a lack of privilege is a competition settle

people versed in the art of performativity a space built for tropism and puppeteers

a space i learned to settle into

and play with the rules of conventionalism

two shoes tossed over the fence

a space where i watch the embryo in your eyes

grow like a silent garden

and your anxiety and shame with it hidden behind rough skin and tucked lips

ambition, ive learned, is a white man's game

so i'm left to wonder why we're allowed to play

Elena (Ellie) is an M2 at the University of Michigan Medical School. She writes poetry in her spare time.